I am a fan of making New Year's resolutions. I love the "clean slate" feeling that a new year brings. I feel the same sense of possibility at the beginning of each month. It certainly appeals to the rampant perfectionist in me: "Well, last month didn't go as I'd planned, but
this month, watch out!" Part of me honestly believes that eventually, I'll achieve a "perfect" month. Perfect, for me, is based on arbitrary standards that I've somehow formulated in my mind over the years. It's nonsense, mostly, and just one of the many Jess quirks I'm learning how to deal with.
Regardless of how I sometimes twist reality, I believe that setting goals is important. There is something in us that yearns to progress. To become better. So, I set New Year's resolutions. But there is one resolution that I am sick of setting. Every year, I think: "This year, I will
finally lose the extra weight on my body!" I did in 2008. It was awesome. And not because finally reaching my goal size made all my problems disappear or my life easier, but because I wasn't, for once, wishing I was a smaller size. I wasn't spending time thinking about how I could/should lose weight. It really surprised me how it opened me up to focusing on other much more important things. And while I truly believe that we need to love ourselves and our bodies
now, in order to attain anything resembling true joy, I think there is a lot to be said for feeling and looking your best. And when I say "best", I mean the weight at which you are healthy (
not Victoria Secret model skinny!), at which you feel energized and at peace in your skin. You can be happy in your body, whatever your size or shape, but I believe that when you truly love your body, you naturally take better care of it and you will eventually land at your healthy weight. I could go on and on...but I'll spare you.
(http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/wh6_uploads/images/diet-exercise-wl-art.jpg)
The point of my weight-related ramblings is that I decided a couple of months ago that I would arrive at January 1st having already lost some weight. That I would hit that date having already begun treating my body better. That I would make it through the holidays without gaining a pound and actually lose a bit 'o weight. And that I would use that momentum to carry me through the dreary days of January and onward to my goals. And I have! Only about four pounds, but I'm thrilled with that. I care far more about how my clothes fit than the number on the scale and that's slowly improving, too. Through the help of a few like-minded friends with the same goal, I'm making steady forward progress.
How am I doing this? Well, besides Halloween, I didn't eat any desserts/treats/candy, etc. from Oct. 27 - Nov. 27 (I am not saying that this is what
you should do! I am only sharing what has been working for me). I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted on Thanksgiving (and for three days afterwards - oops), but once December came, I was back on the proverbial bandwagon. December is a difficult month for me to abstain from joy. I mean, treats. :) December 11th is Tyler's birthday; December 20th is Tess' birthday; December 22nd is our anniversary; and then, of course, there's the usual celebrations and the feasting that accompanies them. So, for now, I'm abstaining until Tyler's birthday. While many would counsel not taking such a black-and-white approach to eating, it works for me. I've tried simply being moderate and I end up eating waaaayyy more than I even want to. My perfectionist personality does well with this kind of a program.
I am also trying to eat more slowly and to actually taste what I'm putting in my mouth. Allowing myself to experience the food, to pay attention to it, makes me feel much less deprived.
I'm also trying to find other sources of joy, besides food. I turn to food when I want to celebrate, when I'm sad, bored, lonely, unhappy, happy, breathing, sitting down, standing up, etc. And it's so immediate! And I am not a patient person.
One way I'm keeping myself motivated in the exercise department is with races. There is another virtual race coming up, if anyone out there is interested in running it. This
Resolution Run might help you, too, if you're looking for a way to exercise more or to keep yourself focused during the holiday season. Plus, you can "race" me! :)
Hopefully, I haven't bored any of you that actually read this entire post to tears. This is a topic that I feel passionate about and it's hard for me to only say a little bit about it. Maybe I need to do a series of posts? Or at least one about how it's SO much harder to lose weight after three kids, when you're 35, as opposed to after only two kids and you're 27. I don't know. I thought that if any of you struggle like I do, perhaps it helps to hear that you're not alone. That you can achieve your goals. Truly.